If I'm Not In Love
by DagnyHepburn
Summary: JPLE fluff. Lily's journey of love with James Potter. Potions, Marauders, laughing, hand-holding, first kisses, quidditch and make out sessions! Set in seventh year. Oneshot of how they get together.


A/N: Hello again everybody! I still don't own Harry Potter. But I do have some JPLE fluff for you :) Some of you may recognize some similarities between this and my other story "Hopelessly Devoted" which is Severus POV. This is kind of an outtake from "H.D." but you don't have to read it to get this one :) So without further adieu, I present James and Lily!

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><p>September 15th, 1977. That was the day my whole world turned on its hilt.<p>

Professor Slughorn had all of the Seventh years working on refining the amortentia potion. I was paired with my best friend, Marlene McKinnon, as potions partners. I easily remembered how to brew amortentia from last year's potions class, so I had plenty of time to think to myself.

This year was certainly turning out much different than last year, but so far it was a good change. James Potter had finally stopped being a prat long enough for me to give him a chance. Not as being my boyfriend, mind you, but as friends. So far I liked the new James who didn't act like an arrogant toerag, who didn't hex random Slytherins in the hallway for the fun of it, and who didn't pull embarrassing pranks on innocent bystanders. This new James, or I guess the regular James that I never got to see, was passionate, caring, fiercely loyal, funny and smart. I actually liked spending time with him and we were well on our way to becoming good friends.

I looked down to see my potion was close to having a "mother of pearl" sheen, which was the tell-tale sign of a finished amortentia potion. After a few more clockwise stirs, spiraling steam rose out of the cauldron and I smiled. I had just successfully brewed my amortentia potion well ahead of my classmates. _Well, everyone except Severus_, I amended. I inwardly sighed when I thought of my old Slytherin friend but I refused to waste anymore tears or thoughts on him a long time ago.

Shaking off my temporary trip down memory lane, I took a whiff of the potion to see what the amortentia potion had in store for me. I smelled the untouched pages of a book, the sunflowers that grew in my mother's garden and something that was a mixture of vanilla and clean cotton and completely intoxicating. Where had I smelled that before?

My mind flipped through images that I connected the scent with: the Gryffindor common room, the Great Hall, the lake, quidditch uniforms-

My brain stuck on the last image and I froze. I would know that quidditch uniform anywhere. The crimson red shirt hinting at the muscular arms and torso, the crisp white pants, the tall boots, _oh those boots_, all belonging to none other than….James Potter.

_I'm in love James Potter?_ _No! I am NOT in love with Potter! I am NOT in love with James Potter!_

I turned to the potions table behind me, where the James in question was working with Remus Lupin. Sensing my gaze, he looked up and met my gaze with a wink. The moment I made eye contact, my breathing stopped and I blushed red like a tomato. I turned quickly back around so he wouldn't see me embarrassed.

_Merlin, I love James!_ The one boy on the face of the Earth that I swore I would never like, let alone date! I was definitely not prepared for this new development. I was just getting used to being friends with him! I mentally checked myself and took a deep breath. _He doesn't know how you feel about him, so just act cool and everything will be fine._

Feeling that I had satisfactorily calmed myself down, I finished putting my amortentia potion into vials and took them to Professor Slughorn.

After class, I headed to the Great Hall and instead of choosing my regular spot at the end of the table, sat down right next to Remus and Sirius.

"Have you finished your Charms essay yet, Remus? I've only written on three-fourths of my parchment and it needs to be a full page." I asked as I sat down.

The three boys stared at me in shock, except for Remus who was about to answer when Sirius interrupted, "Are we in trouble Lilykins?"

"No, why ever would you think that?" I questioned feeling confused.

"Well you never used to come over here unless it was to yell at us last year and this year, you usually eat and the end of the table with Marlene," Peter piped up.

We all turned to look at Peter like we had forgotten he was even there and in response, his face turned a magnificent shade of crimson.

James cleared his throat and turned his head to look at me, "What he means to say is that it would a pleasant surprise if you would sit and eat with us."

My heart gave a little stutter when I looked into his hazel eyes and I found myself eating dinner with the Marauders and actually having a good time.

This routine continued for the next few weeks. I would eat all my meals with James, Sirius, Remus and sometimes Peter. Occasionally my friend Marlene or Alice would join us and the conversation would easily flow out to include them.

Since James and I had the same classes, we would walk together to and from classes and the Great Hall. James, always being the gentleman, would accompany me, hold open doors, and even carry my books. He was so easy to be around, always making me smile and laugh. I deeply appreciated our friendship but couldn't help the unevenness of my heartbeat whenever he did something sweet for me.

One day on our way to potions, the corridor was exceptionally crowded and I kept getting bumped by students. To protect me from being jostled anymore, he grabbed my hand and led me through the corridors, the dungeons and into our potions classroom. The fact that we were still holding hands when we were already in the classroom had not escaped my notice. But I wasn't complaining. My hand was perfectly encompassed in James's hand and it felt like our hands were made especially for one another. _I wonder what other body parts fit perfectly against each other_.

The sudden turn of my thoughts and the feel of James's hand in mine caused me to grin like an idiot but one look at James's face assured me that his face also held the same ridiculous grin. Leading me to the table with my cauldron on it, James pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. My breath and heart both simultaneously faltered. _Merlin! Between those hazel eyes and soft lips, I won't last long_.

Unaware, or maybe very aware, of the effects his kiss had upon me, James smiled sweetly at me and headed to his own potions table. I could feel his stare piercing into my back and I fought every nerve in my body to not turn around and look into his eyes.

I actually struggled in Potions that day, finding it nearly impossible to focus on anything but James and the feel of his lips on my skin. I owed Marlene a huge cauldron of Honeydukes for stopping me from adding porcupine quills to a Draught of Living Death.

For the next week, I struggled to act normal while my brain was consumed with everything that is James Potter. I must have put on a pretty good show because none of the Marauders, or even Marlene and Alice, noticed anything different about me. But I knew what had changed: I had finally admitted to myself that I was in love with James Potter.

One night, James and I were doing Rounds as part of our Head duties and we were playing 20 Questions.

"Number Nine: If you could choose any animal for your patronus to be, what would you choose?"

"Ugh, James, your questions are always so much better than mine!" I told him in mock frustration. "Okay, ummmm if I had to choose an animal, I would want it to be something strong, majestic but soft at the same time. How about a doe? I always loved watching the deer in the forest when Dad and I went camping. They really are the perfect-"

I stopped when I saw the stunned look on his face. "James? What's the matter?"

James shook his head, as if shaking off an errant thought and continued his questioning. "Number ten: Why did you finally give me the chance to be your friend?"

I sighed, _This should be interesting_. "Well James, before you always talked about how different and wonderful you were, but then last year I actually got to see you change and act like the man you always claimed to be. You convinced me that I had misjudged you, so I gave you another chance and I'm really glad I did because I truly value our friendship."

James merely smiled and shyly asked, "Yeah?"

I giggled. "One more question down. But yes, that is how I feel."

James laughed, "Fine, number twelve: You've been acting weird the past week, what's bothering you?" He quickly became serious, puzzling his eyebrows.

My breath started to quicken. _I can't tell him the real reason! I can't believe he noticed. Of course he noticed, he's James!_

Oblivious to my internal debate and worried by my lack of response, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop. Holding my hands in both of his, he asked again, "Lily?"

My face blushed. I couldn't breathe or speak. I was too caught up in the warm feeling of my tiny hands in his larger strong ones. His thumbs stroked my skin reassuredly and I felt comforted by the gesture.

Sensing my distress, James pulled one of his hands away and held it to my cheek gently. "Lily…what's wrong?" He whispered.

Looking into the depths of his hazel eyes, I felt my body let go of everything it had concealed the past few weeks. His eyes widened when they took in the love and sincerity my eyes were desperately revealing.

"James," I sighed softly.

His face flickered with understanding and even…hope?

"Thirteen: May I kiss you, Lily?" James murmured.

I was barely able to whisper, "Yes," before his lips were on mine. The kiss was gentle and sweet and _perfect_. James pulled back after a moment and smiled.

"Lily, will you please go out with me?"

"I would love to." I replied before bringing his lips down to mine again, all thoughts of our question game out the window. James's lips were hard and needy against mine, passionately caressing my lips with his expert ones. I sighed contentedly into the kiss and James took the opportunity to run his tongue along the entrance to my mouth, begging for entrance. I complied and found myself being thoroughly and truly kissed by James Potter.

His right hand remained cupped to my cheek while the other hand splayed itself across my lower back. My hands found their way to his unruly locks and I knotted my fingers in his hair just like I had been dreaming about for the past few weeks. I don't know how long we stood there in the corridor, tightly holding onto one another while our tongues explored each other, battling for dominance. After a few failed attempts, we finally succeeded in pulling away from the kiss and held one another in our arms, smiling.

We strolled back to our shared Heads dormitory hand in hand. Stopping frequently to press our lips to one another's in the many abandoned corridors.

When we finally reached our portrait entrance, James whispered the password, "Venus," and led us into the common room. We curled up on the couch and sat silently, enjoying each other's company.

I finally broke the comfortable silence, "James, do you think that maybe we could keep this a secret for now?"

His face fell and he stared dejectedly at the ground. "You don't want anyone to know you're dating me?"

Immediately feeling terrible for hurting him, I said, "No, well yes, but I really am ecstatic to be in a relationship with you. It's just that, once every one finds out we are together we will be the center of attention and I want some time for it to be just us. I only want to concentrate on you and me right now, not about what everyone else is thinking."

"It shouldn't matter what everyone else at this bloody school thinks. I like you and you like me, that's all that matters." James said fiercely.

"I agree, but that is not the way the world works, so can we just keep this between us for now? Not for long, just until I'm prepared for all the unwanted attention."

"I will wait as long as you need Lils, as long as I get to have you."

…..

The next two weeks were the absolute best days of my life. Of course James and I couldn't be "together" in front of our peers but we were still friends, so we got to spend the days talking about anything and everything. I still sat with the Marauders at meals and we laughed more than I could ever remember having done before. James still walked me to class and acted as gentlemanly as ever, our classmates never suspected a thing. Little did they know that every night, and every other time James caught me in an empty secluded spot, we made out like the hormone crazed teenagers we were.

I quickly discovered that there was nothing better than being kissed by James Potter. His lips expertly knew where the spots on my body were that gave me goosebumps, where I was ticklish and where I would gasp in pleasure. He had a particular fondness for my neck and our many hours of exploits resulted in so many hickies that I had taken up wearing scarves just to hide them. Thank goodness it was fall or the scarves would have warranted some serious attention.

I smiled whenever I thought back on all the memories James and I had already made. Being James's girlfriend was more perfect than I could have ever dreamed. But I knew that we were going to have to reveal our relationship soon, making us targets of unwelcome attention. James hadn't yet brought up when we were going to go public; he knew I would let him know when I was ready. _But would I ever be ready?_

I contemplated on where I could find a large dose of Gryffindor courage while eating breakfast in the Great Hall. Today was the day of the highly anticipated Gryffindor vs. Slytherin quidditch match. The untouched plate of food next to me alerted me to the fact that James was handling the pressure by not eating. Looking up at his face, I noticed that he looked like he was about to be violently ill.

"James?" I asked him quietly.

His eyes met mine, full of panic.

"James, you have nothing to worry about. You are the best seeker we've had in the last century. You can expertly fly a broom in your sleep, I've seen it. Just take some deep breaths, okay?"

He seemed to be calming somewhat and took several deep breaths to maintain composure. I continued to soothe him by distracting him with conversation about our new favorite book, Carrie. James's secret love for muggle authors, like Stephen King, was a well kept secret.

Soon it was time for the quidditch players to head down to the pitch and the realization caused James to tense. As he unsteadily rose from the table to leave, I impulsively jumped out of my seat too and kissed him on the cheek; right there in the Great Hall for anyone to see.

"For good luck," I whispered to him, blushing like mad.

James simply beamed in response and strutted out of the Great Hall like a king.

I was immediately assailed by my two best friends, Marlene McKinnon and Alice Prewitt.

"What was that?" Alice squealed.

"What was what?" I asked, feigning nonchalance.

"What do you mean, 'what was what'? Did you just kiss James Potter on the cheek?" Marlene persisted.

"Yes I did. He's the Gryffindor quidditch captain and I am in Gryffindor, plus he happens to be my friend so I merely wished him good luck on the big match today."

Alice and Marlene shared a conspiratorial look and to avoid any further questioning I abruptly said, "Oh look at the time, we should head down to the pitch and get seats."

Undeterred, they continued questioning me all the way down to the quidditch field.

"So you like him then?" The Marlene inquired.

"Of course I like him Marlene! He's my friend." I answered in a matter of fact tone.

"But do you _like_ him like him?" Alice clarified.

I had nothing to say that wouldn't give away our relationship so I remained silent. Unfortunately, my face gave me away.

"Ooooh look at that Alice! Lily's blushing! You totally have a crush on James Potter!" Marlene jeered.

"Shhh! Keep it down, Marlene!" I whispered frantically. This was _not_ the way I wanted the whole school to find out.

"Please, no one is listening Lils." Alice replied but continued to lower her voice, "You _have_ to tell us when you finally agree to go out with him!"

I giggled, _If they only knew_. "I promise to tell you as soon as I go on a date with James Potter!" That wasn't a complete lie, James had yet to take me out on an official date; waiting for our relationship to be ousted.

We continued walking down to the stands, chatting and giggling about the various men in Gryffindor and their attractive qualities.

…...

It was a very long match. It had already been an hour and the snitch was nowhere to be seen. The quaffle kept going back and forth between the two teams. Gryffindor would be on top, only for Slytherin to score a few goals to take back the lead and vice versa. The Slytherins were currently winning by three goals.

Keeping my eyes on James the entire time, I noticed when he suddenly took off towards the southern end of the pitch with his arm outstretched. He had sighted the snitch! The collective cry from the Gryffindors around me alerted me to the fact that they had seen James's target also. James turned his broom into a dive, following the snitch's erratic movements.

The Slytherin seeker, _Black or something_, couldn't out fly James, so he resorted to bumping against him in order to knock James off his broom. James never wavered once, continuing to plunge towards the ground, focused on catching the snitch.

I knew that if anybody could plummet towards the grass and somehow come out alive, it was James, but just the thought of him being injured caused my stomach to tie itself in knots. I held my breath as he zoomed closer to the ground; the two seekers playing a game of chicken to see who would abandon the pursuit first. About twenty feet from the grass, the Slytherin seeker's fear got the best of him and he swerved out of the dive, leaving James alone in his death-defying chase.

My breathing halted and I almost closed my eyes to the inevitable disaster when several things happened: James pulled out of the dive just in time to avoid crashing, he stuck his fist into the air triumphantly, I realized he had, in fact, caught the snitch, raucous applause erupted amongst our stands and my heart beat in triple time.

I found myself running onto the field along with the majority of Gryffindor house with an exultant look upon my face. I couldn't tell you who else was on the pitch with me; all I could focus on was James and his glorious face. I held my arms open signaling victory and I saw James open his arms wide, mirroring my stance.

Without contemplating my actions, I leaped into his strong arms and couldn't resist wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him an enthusiastic kiss. As usual, the outside world faded away the moment his lips touched mine and I reveled in his soft touch.

James smiled at my eager response and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, securing me to him. Our lips moved passionately against one another, our tongues slid together creating a delicious friction. The only problem with kissing James Potter was that it was impossible to stop. I was completely content to stay locked in his embrace, our mouths hard upon one another. James tasted like vanilla and it was intoxicating. I breathed in his smell through my nose and sighed inwardly at how good he smelled. He always smelled so _good_.

After who knows how long, I noticed the winning cheers had died down and it was strangely quiet around us. We broke apart and looked around to see the cause of the calm. I was met by the astonished faces of half of Gryffindor house and the gleeful faces of my friends. Thinking that our cover was blown, I turned to James and smiled. "I think everyone knows that we're dating now, James." _Well, that was one way to do it_.

Not caring that everyone's eyes were on us, James smiled and joked, "Took them long enough," and pressed his lips back to mine.

We were interrupted by Sirius's loud shout, "Oi! Prongsie! Are you telling me that you have had our delectable Lilyflower all to yourself and you didn't tell me?"

James pulled back from the kiss to see Sirius's mock-injured face. "I wanted to keep her all to myself, Padfoot. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you next time we go to Hogsmeade."

Sirius seemed appeased by this and turned to the gawking students, "What are you lot staring at? We just won! Party in the common room! I'll bring the butterbeers!"

The surrounding Gryffindors began cheering again and paraded back up to the castle, Sirius leading the pack.

Laughing at Sirius's wild antics, I turned back to James and gazed into his dazzling hazel eyes. His arms tightened around my waist and he looked down at me lovingly.

"Does this mean I get to take you out on a real date, Lils?" He asked me excitedly.

"You'd better," I whispered teasingly, tilting my head up to press my lips to his once more.

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><p>EN: In my opinion there is nothing better than JPLE fluff or quidditch kisses! Pretty please with sugar on top review! Your reviews hold a special place in my heart and make my day without fail :) Bonus coolness points if you can tell me what song the title is from!


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